Roger's Depression
by GirlInTheMirror121
Summary: My first fanfiction! Find out what happens to Roger after Mimi's death. R&R please! Chapter 15 is now UP! Rated T because well, it's RENT and for some situations. MoJo slight, RogerXOC, OCXOC.
1. Mimi

"Roger's Depression"

Author's note: My first fanfiction! R & R please, and no flames! I know I'm not the best writer, but I'm working on it! LOL enjoy! Look for a future fanfic co-written by kagomehig715!

Roger still remembered that day. The day he met Mimi--Christmas Eve, 1989. She had appeared in his doorway, the very doorway he was standing in now. She wanted her candle to be lit.

They had sung a song, and had fallen in love.

Roger had never really believed in love at first sight, but after he met Mimi, he knew it was possible. But know it was different.

Mimi died last night.

AIDS. Roger remembered it clearly. He had gone with her to the hospital. Correction-he had _brought_ her to the hospital. She was going through withdrawal, and had had a bad relapse the other week. Roger had been there through it all with her, every bad day, every craving. But last night was the worst. She had lied there on her bed, shaking terribly. Her breathing slowed down; she stopped occasionally to take a shaky, rasping breath.

Then, it was all over.

Mimi was gone.

Roger had been there for her last moments. He had held her hand while she died. Her last words to him had been "I love you, Roger."

Those words had come back to haunt him in this moment. He just couldn't believe she was gone; first Angel, now Mimi. Two losses, all in one year.

Roger walked over to the couch in his one-bedroom apartment that he shared with his best friend, Mark. They were dirt poor, and lived in the bohemian section of New York City. They didn't have jobs, and barely had enough to pay their rent.

Roger picked up his guitar, his prized possession. It wasn't much, just an ordinary black acoustic guitar. Some of the strings were wearing down, and it didn't tune very well. But it was his life. He began to play a little song.

One song—glory

One song—before I go

Glory

One song to leave behind

Find one song—one last refrain

Glory

From the pretty boy front man

Who wasted opportunity

One song—he had the world at his feet

Glory

In the eyes of a young girl

A young girl

Find glory

Beyond the cheap colored lights

One song—before the sun sets

Glory—on another empty life

Time flies—time dies

Glory

One blaze of glory

One blaze of glory—glory

Find glory

In a song that rings true

Truth like a blazing fire

An eternal flame

Find one song—a song about love

Glory

From the soul of a young man

A young man

Find the one song—before the virus takes hold

Glory

Like a sunset

One song—to redeem this empty life

Time flies

And then—no need to endure anymore

Time dies….

Just then, Mark entered the room.

"Thinking about Mimi?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Roger. "Look, man, I really wanna be alone right now."

"OK," said Mark. "I'm just going down to the performance space. Maureen has another show tonight, and you know how she gets…"

"Fine," he said.

"Maybe you should come tonight?" asked Mark. "Get your mind off of things."

"No, go on ahead," he replied. "I'm going to attempt to write a song."

"OK, that's cool." Mark started to leave the apartment, and then paused. "Take your AZT."

"I will," he responded, his head bent over his guitar.

Roger remembered the day that he found out he was HIV positive.

_Flashback: 2 years ago_

That will be coming up in my next chapter. I hope you like! Please review and let me know how this is. NO FLAMES, AS REQUESTED ABOVE!!!! Thanks! Hey Kagome and Apathetic Angel (and Dalin, if you're reading this!)!! Also, thanks to Twisties!

ONE SONG -- GLORY  
ONE SONG -- BEFORE I GO  
GLORY  
ONE SONG TO LEAVE BEHIND  
FIND ONE SONG -- ONE LAST REFRAIN  
GLORY  
FROM THE PRONE SONG -- GLORY

ONE SONG -- BEFORE I GO

GLORY

ONE SONG TO LEAVE BEHIND

FIND ONE SONG -- ONE LAST REFRAIN

GLORY

FROM THE PRETTY BOY FRONT MAN

WHO WASTED OPPORTUNITY

ONE SONG -- HE HAD THE WORLD AT HIS FEET

GLORY

IN THE EYES OF A YOUNG GIRL

A YOUNG GIRL

FIND GLORY

BEYOND THE CHEAP COLORED LIGHTS

ONE SONG -- BEFORE THE SUN SETS

GLORY -- ON ANOTHER EMPTY LIFE

TIME FLIES -- TIME DIES

GLORY

ONE BLAZE OF GLORY

ONE BLAZE OF GLORY -- GLORY

FIND GLORY

IN A SONG THAT RINGS TRUE

TRUTH LIKE A BLAZING FIRE

AN ETERNAL FLAME

FIND ONE SONG -- A SONG ABOUT LOVE

GLORY

FROM THE SOUL OF A YOUNG MAN

A YOUNG MAN

FIND THE ONE SONG -- BEFORE THE VIRUS TAKES HOLD

GLORY

LIKE A SUNSET

ONE SONG -- TO REDEEM THIS EMPTY LIFE

TIME FLIES

AND THEN -- NO NEED TO ENDURE ANYMORE

TIME DIES

ETTY BOY FRONT MAN  
WHO WASTED OPPORTUNITY

ONE SONG -- HE HAD THE WORLD AT HIS FEET  
GLORY  
IN THE EYES OF A YOUNG GIRL  
A YOUNG GIRL  
FIND GLORY  
BEYOND THE CHEAP COLORED LIGHTS  
ONE SONG -- BEFORE THE SUN SETS  
GLORY -- ON ANOTHER EMPTY LIFE  
TIME FLIES -- TIME DIES

GLORY  
ONE BLAZE OF GLORY  
ONE BLAZE OF GLORY -- GLORY  
FIND GLORY

IN A SONG THAT RINGS TRUE  
TRUTH LIKE A BLAZING FIRE  
AN ETERNAL FLAME  
FIND ONE SONG -- A SONG ABOUT LOVE  
GLORY  
FROM THE SOUL OF A YOUNG MAN  
A YOUNG MAN

FIND THE ONE SONG -- BEFORE THE VIRUS TAKES HOLD  
GLORY  
LIKE A SUNSET   
ONE SONG -- TO REDEEM THIS EMPTY LIFE  
TIME FLIES  
AND THEN -- NO NEED TO ENDURE ANYMORE  
TIME DIES


	2. HIV positive

**Author's note: chapter 2! Still not great, but give me a break, it's my first fanfiction. Thanks to everyone who's helped me so far!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own RENT. Maybe someday…**

_Flashback_

Roger remembered the day he and his now- deceased girlfriend, April, found out that they were HIV-positive. They had gotten a letter in the mail:

_Male: positive_

_Female: positive_

Just seeing those words sent a chill down Roger's spine. He knew that nothing would ever be the same. He held April as she cried.

Later, she had said "Rog, I'm going to take a shower now."

Those were the last words she ever said to him. Roger had come back into the bathroom half an hour later, getting worried about April. She was dead. She had slit her wrists.

_End flashback_

Roger was thinking about this now as he was playing his guitar. Now, Mimi was the one dead. Angel had died 3 months ago because of this same disease. What if Collins was next?

What if _he_ was next?

Roger stepped out onto the balcony, where he and Mimi used to stand. He could already see a crowd gathering for Maureen's show. Maybe he should go….

"Yes, it's better than staying in here," he thought to himself. "There are too many memories."

Going outside, he spotted some of his Life Support friends. Roger waved to them, and walked down the alleyway.

Then The Man showed up.

All Roger could think was, "This is why Mimi is dead. This was the cause of her addiction."

He wanted to do something about it…

But he couldn't.

**Like it? Hate it? Think I should just get rid of it and start a new story? REVIEW!! Go on, hit the little button there. I'll love you for it later. **


	3. The Man and the funeral

**Disclaimer: still don't own RENT! Never will!**

**A/N: hey guys, thanks for all your help recently! Here is the next chapter! Anyway, I will probably get 1 or 2 more up before I leave for 5 days in Florida for my birthday! Will be gone 28-1, b-day is 30!**

The Man was standing two feet away from Roger.

"Hey, haven't seen you in awhile. How's your girlfriend? She was one of my best clients." The Man said.

"She…died. Last night." Roger said in a sad voice.

"Sorry to hear it…" 

"No, you're not! You're one of the reasons she died! She wouldn't have gotten AIDS if it weren't for YOU!" Roger lunged towards The Man.

"Calm down, dude. She came to me. I can't do nothin' about it. I sell, people buy. It's how I make my living."

"I will never forgive you! Because of you, Mimi is DEAD!" Roger yelled. People were starting to look now.

"Look, as I told you, there's nothing I can do. I don't give a shit about my client's personal lives. I don't care if they live or die."

"Well, you just lost two clients. Congratulations. See if you have any more costumers ever again." Roger walked away, shaking.

The next day was Mimi's funeral. The bohos all stood around and said a few words about Mimi.

"She was a good girl. I always enjoyed having her around. She came to my show every chance she got, and loved it. I'm sad to see her go, just like Angel." That was Maureen.

"Mimi was a very loved girl. She was a great…dancer…and had a very big heart. She will be missed very much by her friends and family." Joanne stepped down from the podium.

"Mimi, I miss you. You were a good kid. Say hello to Angel for me, ok? Tell her that I miss and love her. I also love you, Mimi." Collins moved so that Mark could have his turn.

"Mimi was a very nice girl. I know she was very much loved by all of her friends. I will miss her and her liveliness. God bless, Mimi."

"Mimi, I love you. I hope to be reunited with you in Heaven soon. Send my regards to Angel, and know that I will always love you." Roger stepped down, trying to hold back his tears.

The casket was lowered into the earth, and the bohemians just stood around, crying, remembering Mimi.

Collins went to the next tombstone over, Angel's grave. Mimi had requested, before she died, that she be buried next to her best friend. Collins knelt down, said a prayer, and had "alone time" with his lover.

"You coming back to the loft, Roger?" Mark asked.

"No, go on. I think I'll stay here with Mimi for awhile. Me and Collins will catch up with you guys later." he said.

At first, Roger didn't know what to say. He stood there for a long time, and then finally knew what to say.

"I love you, Mimi."

**My first boyfriend and kiss would be fun. And great. But you know what's just as fun? REVIEWS!! Go on, press that button. Make me happy. **


	4. Memories

**A/N: Hope this is ok! I'm working on this…I might have another chapter up soon, but Kags and I are off to Florida next Saturday! And Happy Birthday to me! July 30!**

**Disclaimer: lalala I don't own RENT lalala….**

Roger went back to the loft around 4:00 that day. He found a note on the table:

_Roger-_

_Went out with the guys. Be back around 9 or so. Try to get out of the house._

_-Mark _

Roger sighed and sat on the couch. The words kept replaying in his head:

_Flashback_

"She's gone…Mimi Marquez is dead. I'm terribly sorry Mr. Davis."

"What…no! Mimi! No, she's not gone. She can't be…"

"I'm sorry, Roger. She passed away at 3:47 this morning. I know you loved her, and she loved you, too. In fact, she wanted you to have this…"

The uniform-clad doctor handed Roger a note:

_Dear Roger,_

_I hate to leave you. Please know that it was not my fault. I'm sorry our child will never get to live. I know she would have been lovely, and would have had a great daddy. Say goodbye to Mark and Collins and Maureen and Joanne for me. Heck, even say goodbye to Benny! I will soon be reunited with my chica Angel in Heaven. She and I will be watching over you. I love you, Roger, and I always will. Goodbye, love._

_Love always, Mimi_

_End flashback_

Roger took the note out of his pocket. He had carried it around with him ever since she died. The words haunted him, and the ink had even faded into the crumpled up and worn piece of paper. He looked at his guitar and began to play a familiar melody.

_Your eyes_

_As we said our goodbyes…_

The song he had written for Mimi when he went to Santa Fe. They all thought that she was going to die that night, right then and there. A miracle luckily happened; a special…Angel…had saved her, told her to keep on going. Roger remembered this night now.

A single tear rolled down his face towards his guitar.

**A/N: I know this probably is bad, and I know I can do better. But hey, you know what helps writers become better? Reviews! And hmm, what's that little button for there? You know what to do!**


	5. Suicide Thoughts

**A/N: update before me and Kags leave on Saturday! Will be unreachable…I think…**

**Disclaimer: I. DO. NOT. OWN. RENT!!!**

**Dedications: to GorgeousSmile, Twisties, LostOzian, Lilly Green, curlyque, s-slytherin, etc…thanks for reviewing and helping me! Also, thanks to KagomeHig715, dalin, and apathetic angel. **

Roger held onto the memories. The pain was hurting him badly. He missed Mimi. She was the only one he ever truly loved…

But now that she was gone, Roger was feeling very much alone. True, he had Mark, Collins, Maureen, and Joanne, but still. With Mimi and Angel gone, was there any reason to live anymore?

He began to contemplate suicide. Could he do it? Roger began to make a list:

_Pros: reunited with Mimi. I will be happy again. We can finally be together forever. Not many people would miss me, anyway. It would put me out of my pain. I will also get to see Angel again._

_Cons: well, I die!! There are so many things in life that I haven't done yet. I want to get married and spend the rest of my life with someone I love. I had that…but no one can replace Mimi, ever. Mark and Collins and Joanne and Maureen will miss me…but they can get along without me._

Roger placed this list in his jeans pocket. It was so balanced! He had no idea what he should do.

Suicide seemed to be the answer…

But he couldn't bring himself to it. He couldn't die like that. He was only in his 20's! He couldn't put his friends through the pain…

His own pain seemed to be so bad. He couldn't go on like this, without Mimi. His true love, gone forever, never to return! He would never love another person like that.

However, he had said the same thing when April died. He thought he would never love again, and on top of HIV…he had confined himself to the loft. Then, that fateful night had come…the night Mimi came into his life.

_God, she had looked so beautiful. Her hair in the moonlight…she looked just like April…_

Now, this whole thing was happening all over again. He was in the loft again, and he didn't want to go out.

He made the decision…he would do it.

He would commit suicide, that night.

Roger began to write the note for Mark to find when he got home:

_Dear Mark,_

_I can't live like this anymore. By the time you read this, I will be dead. Life without Mimi is unbearable. Please know that I did not do this to hurt you guys. I just can't go on anymore. I will be reunited with my love in Heaven, where we will be forever. I leave my guitar to you, and Maureen can have my clothes. She might be able to use them in a show. Give Joanne my jewelry to keep, and Collins may have whatever he likes. Tell him that I will send his love to Angel. Goodbye, guys. I love you all._

_Roger_

_8:23 P.M._

Roger left the note on the table, and walked into the bathroom. He had decided to take pills.

He had the bottle in one hand, and a glass of water was in the other.

All of a sudden…

**A/N: CLIFFHANGER!!! Plot twist there, huh? So does Roger live? Does he die? REVIEW ME!! Thanks to all who have reviewed me in the past. I won't torture you for long! I will update as soon as I get back from vacation, I promise! Now, you know what to do…Press. The. Button!**


	6. Maureen

**A/N: Back from Florida! Glad to see you guys again. Back and updating as promised! So yeah…sorry to leave you guys all hanging with that last chapter. This one hopefully won't disappoint!**

**Disclaimer: you know it. I. DON'T. OWN. RENT!! **

…the door burst open. It was Maureen.

"Hey, Roger, I just left my coat here the other night and…"

There was no reply.

"Roger?" Mo asked. Where was he?

Then she saw the note on the table, and began to panic. Roger, commit suicide? She hoped it wasn't too late.

She wandered over to the bedroom, hoping for the best.

_Maureen's Point of View_

_Roger didn't answer when I called. Then I saw the note on the table, saying that he just wanted to die. I panicked, and ran towards the bedroom, my heart pounding. SUICIDE?! Suddenly, I heard crying coming from the bathroom. Roger was sitting on the floor with a glass of water and a bottle of pills. I breathed a sigh of relief; he was still alive. _

"_What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised._

"_I left my coat here, so I came back to get it. Roger, what happened? Are you ok?"_

"_Mo…I just couldn't take it anymore. The pain, the suffering. Mimi…she was the only one I ever loved. I loved her more than April. With her gone, and than Angel, finally Mimi…life seemed like nothing. There was no reason to live. I just…" his voice trailed off sadly._

"_Oh…Roger…I can't imagine what you've been through. I know I wouldn't get on without Pookie. You need to see a counselor, however. I don't want you to go on like this. Maybe Joanne knows someone who could help."_

"_Thanks, Mo. I'm actually glad you came. I wasn't sure if I was going to go through with it. Can you forgive me?" he asked._

"_Of course. Now, come on. I'll take you to Joanne." I gave Roger a little hug, and we left. _

_My friend needed help. And soon._

Roger and Maureen left the loft, and headed to Mo and Jo's apartment.

"_I'm lucky I have friends like this" _Roger thought to himself.

They arrived at the apartment. Joanne was sitting in the living room, reading the _Times_.

"Pookie, I need to talk to you alone," Maureen said to her lover.

They walked into the bedroom. "What is it, Honeybear?" Joanne asked.

"Roger. He tried to commit suicide! Luckily, I got there just in time. Do you know anyone who could help him?" she gave Jo her signature pout.

"Roger…commit suicide? Gosh, I would have never…of course I know someone. He's a good friend of mine. Come on, let's go talk to Roger."

Roger was standing in the kitchen by now. The diva and the lawyer came back.

"Roger, I want you to go see Dr. Winters. He's a good friend of mine, and I think he will be able to help you through your depression. I'll set up an appointment with him tomorrow morning. Here's his card."

"Thanks, Joanne. Do you mind if I stay here overnight? I don't feel comfortable going back to the loft tonight." He said.

"Sure, you can stay on the futon couch. Feel free to make yourself at home. I'll call Mark and let him know so that he doesn't worry." Joanne went into her business-like "lawyer mode" and took charge.

Roger settled in and smiled a little. It was a sad, weak smile, but it was the most he'd smiled in weeks, months even.

**A/N: Longer chapter! Yay! I just couldn't stop writing this one. Tricked ya, huh? You guys thought it would be Mark walking in the door, didn't you? PLOT TWIST!! LOL now review. REVIEW!!!!!**


	7. Author's Note

**The infamous author's note chapter**

**I know you're not technically supposed to do this, but everyone does. Well, I'm not sure where to go with the rest of this story. Here are my ideas:**

**Roger and Maureen get together, because she saved his life and all**

**Roger sees the doctor and gets better…and a little emotional**

**Mimi comes to him in a dream and gives him a message and a few words of wisdom and advice**

**RogerxOC get together, someone that Mo sets him up with, or that he meets at the doctor's office.**

**I'm out of ideas…someone give me one!!**

**So, thanks if you're reading this! Leave a review with your ideas, or feel free to PM me. I will put together my favorite ideas, and that will come up in the next chapter. The next chapter will also be dedicated to whoever helps me!**

**Thanks again, guys. Total writer's block on this story and I don't want to give it up just yet. **


	8. Alyssa

**A/N: OMG I'm so sorry I haven't updated! So, as I promised, here's a new chapter for you guys! RogerXOC finally comes about in this chapter…**

**Dedications: thanks to all who responded to my author's note chapter and my PM's! So, this is dedicated to: LostOzian, GorgeousSmile, Birdhearted, broadwaylover07, and Twisties! Thanks for all your help, guys. This chapter (and some of the next few) couldn't be possible without you! Almost makes me want to break out into song, Without You…**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I own RENT? No! But I do own the OC…**

Roger woke up the next morning, and headed off to the doctor's office. He felt nervous, but he thought, _hopefully, Joanne is right. This might help me for the better. _

Dr. Winters turned out to be a nice man, in his 30's. He had a deep tan, and a soothing, calm voice.

"Sit down, Roger. Joanne told me all about you. Is there anything you care to talk to me about? Perhaps, why you wanted to commit suicide?" He didn't sound accusatory, but caring.

"Well, my wife died…about a week or so ago…" Roger began.

"I am very sorry to hear that."

"Yeah. Dr. Winters, I really loved her. Mimi meant the world to me. We were…soulmates. She was 4 months pregnant when she died…of AIDS. I've never loved anyone as much as her. We were hoping to start a family together, to be together always. I finally settled down for once in my life, and with the right person. When she died, I felt as if I could never love again. The pain was too great, and I wanted to be with her again…"

"I see, Roger. Well, don't you think Mimi would have wanted you to live, and to be happy? If you did commit suicide, you'd put an end to that. Would she have been happy with that decision? I don't think she would."

"No, Dr. I don't think so. Mimi wouldn't have been happy with me at all."

"Just think of that next time, Roger. Now, is there anything else you would like to talk about?"

The two talked for another half an hour, and then Roger left. He felt better than he ever had before.

Roger began to walk down the streets of the Lower East Side. Then, he saw her.

She had brown hair, just about to her shoulders, and it was straight and shiny. Her eyes were a cross between amber-brown and hazel. Her long body was curvy and thin, her breasts small. She was walking down the street with such grace, such confidence. She wore shorts and a blue t-shirt, a plain sort of outfit. But on her, Roger thought it was exotic and beautiful.

He walked up to her.

"Hey, what's your name?" he asked.

"Alyssa," she said.

"Alyssa…" Roger let the name sink into him.

**A/N: I know this is kinda weak, but go easy on me. RENT is not easy to write for. Now you all know about the OC! The plot is going to move much faster now, so don't worry. If you have any imput for what's going to happen next, just PM me. Or…yep, leave a review! Pretty please? I'm trying to improve, and reviews really help a lot. **


	9. Alyssa's POV

**A/N: sorry it took so long to update. I had writer's block, and then I started High School. So, here's a new chapter for you!**

**Disclaimer: I ONLY own Alyssa. Well, Alyssa IS my best friend, but I own this one! RENT, sadly, I do NOT own.**

_Alyssa POV_

_I was just walking down the street, and I saw this really hot guy. He was a rocker, with a leather jacket and short spiked blonde hair. He didn't have that confident swagger that other rockers have, though. I could see the sadness in his eyes, like he had recently gone through a personal tragedy. I wondered if he was like me. I had just lost my husband to AIDS last month, and it killed me inside. Had he lost his lover, too, perhaps? He came up to me, looking sad but shy._

"_Hey, what's your name?" he asked me._

"_Alyssa," I replied._

"_Alyssa," he repeated. "I'm Roger Davis."_

"_Nice too meet you, Roger," I said, gazing up at him. He was considerably taller than I was, maybe a head or so. I would fit perfectly into his chest…_

"_Where do you live?" Roger asked me, distracting me from my thoughts. _

"_The Lower East Side, Avenue B" I said. Oh god, he was cute._

"_Me too," Roger said. "I wonder why I haven't seen you around before?"_

"_I…just moved here…" I said. Ok, so I lied. But I couldn't tell him the truth._

"_Oh," he said. "Well, I live with my best friend, Mark Cohen. We've known each other since we were kids."_

"_That sounds nice. I live alone," I said lamely. _

"_Yeah. Well, I was wondering if maybe….you and I could go out sometime? Maybe to the Life Café, or we could just hang out at my place." Wow…he asked me out? He seems like a really nice guy, so…_

"_Yeah, I'd love that! I'd love to meet your friends or something. Maybe this Saturday?" I said._

"_Saturday it is! I'll meet you at the Life, ok? 7:00 good?"_

"_Sure," I replied. "See you there."_

_He walked off in the other direction, as I headed home. He asked me out! Maybe I was wrong about his wife dying. Perhaps he just saw a sad movie or something. He was really cute anyway, and a nice name, too. Roger Davis. _

_Of course, I know where the Life Café is, as I've lived in NYC my whole life. I wonder why Roger and I never met? Then again, I never got out much as a child. My father abused me, and it ended up being so bad that I ran away at age 17. That was right after he…raped me, late one night. I can't tell Roger that. It's a time in my life that I never want to go back to again. I wish I had someone like Roger to take away my pain and suffering then._

_Now, I do. I mean, I loved my husband, Toby, to death. I was heartbroken when he died. I was almost sure that I would never love like that again. In fact, I almost committed suicide. Luckily, my friend stopped me just in time. That was the second lowest point of my life. I doubt Roger is able to relate to this. He's probably had a bunch of girlfriends in the past. He just has that kind of bad-boy image. But then again, not all rocker guys are like that._

_Roger doesn't seem to be. He seems really nice. Maybe I will love like that again._

_I rounded the corner to my apartment, and walked upstairs. I really do live alone. I got my diary off the nightstand by my bed, and looked at the entries I had written in the past year._

_I re-lived the memories. Starting with when Toby and I got married. Our first time together. My pregnancy. I had lost our child at 5 months. Toby being hospitalized. His last days. The funeral. My attempted suicide. I began to write a new entry about the day I'd had. Then, I got up, and started counting down the days until I saw Roger on Saturday._

**A/N: so, what do you think? A little of Alyssa's background. She sounds a lot like Roger, huh? I think this might be my best chapter so far, but I'm not sure. There is one way I can tell, and that's if y'all review me! And yes, I did change my pen-name from amandasparks to gothic-bunny-rabbit, in case you older reviewers were curious or confused. To all new readers, welcome to the story! Hope you like it! There will be a few more chapters, with an optimistic ending for Roger and April. Happy reading, and remember-gothic bunnies are our enemy!**


	10. First Date and Truth or Dare

**A/N: Hey, sorry for the lack in updates. I started High School, and then I got sidetracked writing two other short stories…then I forgot to update this one! I was last night, but I got caught in a chatroom with two of my best friends, so…I didn't get the chance to. Here you go!**

**A/N 2: My pen-name has been changed yet again to GirlInTheMirror121. **

**Disclaimer: D-O N-O-T O-W-N R-E-N-T!**

Today was the big day, Saturday. Roger and Alyssa had their first date at the Life Café at 7. Both were very anxious, as it was the first date they had been on since their significant others had passed away. Roger paced the room nervously.

"But what if she doesn't like me? What if we have nothing in common?"

"Roger, you said the same thing about Mimi. I'm sure you'll do fine. This Alyssa girl sounds really nice, and I think you have a really good chance with her," said Mark, trying to ease the nerves of his best friend.

"I feel as if this is disloyal to Mimi, though," Roger pointed out.

"Roger, Mimi would've wanted you to be happy. She wouldn't want you to be upset and sad. She would want you to go out with Alyssa," Mark said.

"A-alright," Roger said, nervously. "I hope all goes well…" He picked up his jacket, and left the apartment.

Meanwhile, Alyssa was doing the same at her place, comforted by her best friend and neighbor, Meg.

"What if he doesn't like me? What if he was only being nice to me?"

"Aly, guys don't ask you out shyly if they feel sorry for you. They ask you out because they like you! Now, come, on, Roger seems like a really nice guy. Give him a chance!" said Meg, excited for her friend.

"But what about Toby? Would it be disloyal to him?" Alyssa asked.

"It happened a month ago. He'd want you to move on. Go ahead, go out with Roger!" Meg told her best friend. Alyssa took a deep breath, hugged her best friend, grabbed her purse, and ran out the door.

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At promptly 7:00, both showed up at the Life.

"Hi, Alyssa," Roger said, looking shy.

"Hey," she said back, blushing slightly.

They grabbed a table, and sat down across from each other. After placing their orders, there was an awkward silence between the two.

"So," Roger began. "How long have you lived here?"

Alyssa thought fast. "About a year," she said.

"But I thought you said you just moved here?" Roger questioned.

'Damn, he remembered' Alyssa thought, but instead said "Oh, um, I forgot."

"Ok," Roger said, taken aback slightly.

The two ate dinner almost in silence, occasionally making small talk about friends and work. After Roger paid the bill, he paused.

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"Do you want to come to my place?" he asked. "Mark went to hang out with Collins for awhile."

"Sure," Alyssa said. They walked back to the loft, and sat on the couch.

"Do you know what my favorite game is?" Roger asked, once they were settled.

"No, what is it?" Alyssa asked.

"Truth or Dare," Roger said, excitement building in his voice.

"Oh my God, I love that game!" Alyssa cried. "My friends and I play it all the time!"

"Well, then, I'll start," said Roger.

"Ok, sounds good," Alyssa replied.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who is your best friend?"

"Easy, Meg," Alyssa said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who was your last girlfriend?"

"Oh," Roger said. "It was my wife, Mimi."

"What happened to her?" Alyssa asked, curious.

"She died about a month ago," Roger said sadly.

Alyssa looked shocked, then concerned, then sad.

"What's wrong?" Roger asked.

"My husband, Toby, died about a month ago, too," she admitted.

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss."

"I'm sorry for yours, too," Alyssa said uncomfortably.

Roger shifted in his seat. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What is your deepest secret?"

Alyssa looked terrified, eyes open wide. She couldn't tell him. Yet, she saw the understanding in his eyes. He would be there for her. The only other person she had told was Meg, and now she was ready to tell another person.

She began slowly. "Well…when I was about 10 years old…my father…raped me…"

"Oh my God," Roger said quietly. "Were you okay?"

"Yes. But it haunted me for years after. I still have nightmares occasionally about it. It took forever to learn to trust men again. Toby was the first one."

Roger pulled her into a hug, as she began to cry. "It's ok, Alyssa," he said. "You can trust me."

"Thanks," she said. After they broke the embrace, she began again.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What is YOUR biggest secret?"

"Well," Roger contemplated. "I…tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago."

Alyssa froze. He was more like her than she thought.

"Roger, I know how you feel," she said. "I tried the same thing, too."

"You did?" Roger looked up, surprised. He never thought that she'd try to do something like that.

"Yes. I went to therapy after that. I'm better now, though."

"What made you stop?" Roger asked carefully.

"Well, I realized that Toby wouldn't have wanted me to die. I had the pills in my hands, and I realized it. Besides, Meg called, and said something that I needed to hear."

"What was that?" Roger asked.

"She said 'Thanks, Alyssa. You've done so much for me. I love you like a sister, and I don't know what I'd do without you.' That made me throw those pills away. That made me realize that I was meant to be alive."

Roger smiled softly. "Maureen saved my life. I was on the bathroom floor with the pills in hand. She walked in, found the note on the table, and ran to find me. She brought me to Joanne. They saved me."

Alyssa smiled. "Well, I'm glad they did. Otherwise, we wouldn't have met."

"Yeah," Roger said. "Well, my turn. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Alyssa said, confident.

"Oh, being bold tonight, I see? Well, I dare you to kiss me," Roger said slowly.

"Very well," Alyssa said, nervously and blushing deep red. Their faces inched closer and closer together. They kissed, and both of them felt alive. They had forgotten the feeling. Alyssa put her arms around Roger, and he put his hands on her back. The kiss deepened, getting more and more passionate. Finally, they broke apart, both smiling.

**That's all you get! There you have it, the date. There are only a few more chapters in this story, so it's closing to an end. Review me, please, so I can write even more! I'd like to break 100 reviews for my first fanfiction story, and only you can make it possible! Thanks guys!**


	11. Meet the Boho's!

**A/N: I know, I know. Over a month, and no update. I'm very sorry. High School has been CRAZY! I had 2 English projects in one month (last month), and between all of my other classes and after-school activities and whatnot, I haven't been able to update. I hope this makes up for it!**

**Disclaimer: Huh. Funny, you think I own RENT! You really think so? Hahaha… no. **

Alyssa left Roger's loft about an hour after their first kiss. She had made plans with him next week, where she would meet the other Boho's. She walked down the streets, smiling more than she had in months. Entering her apartment, she found Meg waiting for her.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"Well…" Alyssa started to blush.

"Come on, out with it!" Meg begged her friend.

"He…did kiss me. Oh my God, he's so much like me! He and I…are really alike. He's also really sweet and caring."

"He sounds really nice," Meg said, thinking of her own boyfriend, Jake.

"Yeah," Alyssa said. "I'm meeting his friends next week."

"Cool. Well, I'm going to bed. Glad you had fun, Lyss!" Meg hugged her friend and left.

Alyssa took a quick shower, and went to bed, first writing in her diary.

_Dear Diary, so much has happened since I wrote last. I met this guy named Roger Davis. He's really nice. And he's really cute…and caring. He's a lot like me, too. I haven't been this happy in I don't know how long. Not since Toby was around. I really like him, and he really likes me. I just hope we work out together. He has AIDS, too. His wife, Mimi, died around the same time that Toby did. I feel bad for him, and I know what he's going through. I think that, and our attempted suicides, are what has brought us together, and what bonds us so well. Well, I'm going to bed, Diary, but I will write again after our next few dates._

She turned out the light, and crawled into bed, smiling.

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Roger settled down with his guitar, practicing scales. Mark walked in from wherever he had been, and sat down next to his best friend and roommate.

"How'd it go with the girl?" he asked.

"She's really nice, Mark. I kissed her and learned a lot about her. She and I are a lot alike. She's cute, and nice…and really a great girl."

"Sounds great. When do I get to meet her?" Mark asked.

"She's coming over to meet all the Boho's next week," Roger said. 

"Does she have a roommate? Hot sister? Hot friend?" Mark asked excitedly.

Roger laughed. "She lives alone, has no siblings, and her best friend, Meg, has a boyfriend."

Mark looked disappointed. "Damn!"

Roger laughed again. "Man, you can never get lucky, huh, Mark?"

Mark scowled. "Don't start that with me again, Roger. You know I have bad luck with women! I mean, my girlfriend dumped me for another woman!"

Roger smiled, thinking of that time when Maureen dumped Mark for Joanne. Mark had been so upset.

Roger turned towards his friend. "I'm going to bed now, ok, man?"

Mark looked at him. "Sure, go ahead."

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Next Saturday approached faster than the couple expected. Alyssa came over to the loft around 8:00, and saw 4 people standing in the living room besides Roger.

"Hey, Alyssa!" Roger ran over to greet his girlfriend, kissing her gently. "This is Mark." A red haired boy with glasses, a red and white scarf, and a camera at his side. 

"You're right, Roger, she is cute!" Mark exclaimed. Everyone laughed as Mark blushed furiously.

"This is Collins." A black man with a hat, looking somewhat sad in the eyes.

"Nice to meet you," he said. "Collins. Tom Collins. My girlfriend, Angel, died last year of AIDS. I'm also positive."

Alyssa smiled. "Yes, Roger told me about you. I'm sorry for your loss," she said.

Collins smiled. "Thanks."

"This is Maureen." A girl with curly brown hair, a wild outfit, and her signature cowbell at her side, attached to the belt loop on her jeans.

"Hiiii Alyssa!" Maureen enthusiastically greeted her.

"Hey!" Alyssa said.

"And finally, this is Joanne," Roger finished. An African-American woman who was attached to Maureen's side. She wore a lawyer-type outfit, as she had just come from work.

"Please to meet you," she said formally.

"Not here with us are Angel and Mimi. They are in heaven. In fact, here is a picture of them," Roger said, handing a picture to Alyssa. She saw a pretty Hispanic girl and a cross-dresser standing together, arms around each other.

"They look really nice. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet them." She said.

"Of course, there is one more person…" Roger continued.

"Benjamin Coffin the Third. AKA Benny, Scumbag, The Enemy of Avenue A, "that fuck!", "the bulldog," etc." Maureen said, scowling.

"Oh," Alyssa said.

Roger put his arm around her, and whispered in her ear. She smiled, and walked up to Mark. She kissed him on the cheek. He blushed.

"What was that?" he asked, amazed.

Alyssa chuckled. "A little bird told me that you have trouble getting women."

Mark glared at Roger. "Oh really?"

Maureen laughed. "Well, I DID dump him for Joanne here…"

Mark scowled. "And you guys never let me live that one down!"

Everyone laughed. "Come on, Mr. Scarfy," Mark said. "Let's go where we're appreciated!"

The Boho's and Alyssa looked at each other and laughed. Mo and Jo began making out, while Collins stepped onto the balcony for a smoke.

"Is this a normal day for you guys?" Alyssa asked Roger softly.

He laughed gently. "Yeah, pretty much. They're my family, though. I love them!"

He took Alyssa aside and the two began to kiss again.

**Well, I don't think it was that painful, do you? I hope not! I think it was a good chapter but then again, I'd like honest opinions from my loyal readers. Can you guys help me reach my 100-review-goal? PLEASE?! Don't make me use the puppy dog pout, LOL. So please review me, and I'll give you guys COOKIES! And a next-chapter-dedication, too. P.S. I'm writing a series of oneshots set to Evanescence songs. It will be under the Hannah Montana category. Can anyone give me any ideas? So far, I know what to do for Tourniquet, Snow White Queen, Haunted, and My Immortal. Can anyone help me with some of their other songs? Just PM me. Thanks! P.P.S. hmmm…there are a few things that are ironic in this chapter. Well, pay attention to Meg's character. There's also another ironic thing. PM me or review me to guess what it is!**


	12. Love and IM Fun

**A/N: I know, I know. I haven't updated this in over a month. BUT I HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR NOT! In fact, I have several reasons. REASON 1: High School. Lots of homework. REASON 2: Science Fair Project; enough said. REASON 3: I've been busy with trips and all and well, just really busy! REASON 4: Friendship problems. Creative spirit was lost for awhile. Anyway, on to the story! (I've also been working on a short story called "Ever Ever After". For details, PM me about it!)**

**Disclaimer: The late Jonathon Larson owns RENT. I do not. sobs**

**Dedication: To all my readers and fans ******** Also, thanks to Mya for coming up with Alyssa's outfit!**

The couple made plans for Roger to go over to Alyssa's apartment the next day. Alyssa spent all day getting ready with Meg.

"Oh God, I'm so nervous!" she squealed.

"Calm down, Lyss! You're gonna over-work yourself and mess up that perfect look I've been slaving over all day!" Meg joked.

Promptly at 7:00 that evening, Roger rang the bell in the lobby. Alyssa buzzed him in, and he came up to the apartment. Right away, he kissed his girlfriend, who then moved aside, welcoming him to her place. He saw a girl standing there. She was a pretty brunette with dark brown eyes. She was wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, and sneakers. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and she had an energetic smile on her face.

"Roger, this is Meg. Meg, this is Roger." Alyssa introduced her best friend and her boyfriend.

"Nice to meet you," Roger said.

"It's great to meet you, too, Roger!" Meg said, excited. "Now, I'll just leave you two alone. Besides, I have my own date." She winked at Alyssa, and said goodbye.

"She seems nice. How long have you guys known each other?" Roger asked.

"Since 8th grade," Alyssa responded. She smiled sweetly and shyly.

"Wow. You look great," Roger said, smiling.

And she did. She wore a simple, yet elegant rose red dress, a bodice that fit but wasn't too snug, thick spaghetti straps and a neckline that went straight across her chest, a bit low and yet still modest, and a wrap around wide belt that tied into a loose bow. The skirt of the dress had an empire waist, and flowed out to swing lightly around her hips as she walked.

"Thanks. But really, I owe it all to Meg…" she said, blushing.

He walked over to her, and looked her in the eyes.

"Tell Meg…thank you. Alyssa, you look beautiful…" He began to kiss her. She broke the kiss, bringing him over to the couch in the living room. They began to kiss again. Roger's hands wandered to her chest, and made their way under her dress. She deepened the kiss passionately. Before long, hands were wandering everywhere. She suddenly sat up. Roger looked at her with concern.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked.

"We're both positive, right?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go to my room," she said seductively.

Roger grinned and followed her. He laid her down on the bed, and began to slowly take her dress off, kissing every part of her body that he revealed. She made out with him, taking his shirt off and unbuttoning his pants. They then made love for the first time, right then and there.

She slept in his arms that night. He held her tightly.

There's nowhere in the world that they would've rather been at that moment.

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The next morning, Roger left, and Alyssa began to get ready for work. She got home that afternoon, and plopped on the couch. Her phone rang. Checking the caller I.D., she saw that it was her other best friend, Mya. She, Mya, and Meg, had all been best friends since 8th grade. Mya was at Bel-Rea Institute for Veterinary Services. Alyssa excitedly picked up the phone; the last time she had seen or talked to her friend was at Toby's funeral.

"Hi, Mya!" she exclaimed.

"Hi, Aly!" Mya cried. "What's up?!" 

"Well…I met a new guy…" Alyssa said slowly.

"Oh my God! What's his name? Is he cute? Does he have any roommates? Does he have a job? Tell me everything!"

Alyssa laughed. "His name is Roger Davis. He's VERY cute. He has a roommate, Mark. Yes, Mark is single! He doesn't have a job-he's a bohemian. We've kissed, met each other's friends, revealed our pasts, and biggest secrets, made love…"

Mya screamed. "Girlfriend! You're getting some serious action! But wait-is he positive, too?" Alyssa remembered having to tell Mya the news about her being HIV-positive. Mya was devastated for her friend, but accepted her for who she was.

"Yes, he is," Alyssa said.

"Well, I'm very happy for you, Aly! Finally, I'm seeing you happy after all these months! How's Meg, by the way?"

The two chatted for a while longer. Alyssa wandered over to the kitchen, making a cup of tea. She turned on her beat-up computer and signed onto AIM. Roger was online!

**GuitarPlayer156: Hey baby**

**  
Lyss224: Hey!**

**GuitarPlayer156: What's up?**

**Lyss224: Just got off the phone with Mya.**

**GuitarPlayer156: Who?**

Lyss224: Meg and my best friend from high school. I last talked to her at Toby's funeral.

**GuitarPlayer156: Oh, cool. **

**Lyss224: Yep ******

**Lyss224: How's the gang?**

GuitarPlayer156: Pretty good. Mark's still in love with his camera…

**Lyss224: I thought that was his scarf…**

**GuitarPlayer156: Nah, he's having an affair with Mr.Scarfie. He's married to the camera!**

**Lyss224: LOL!**

_**IHeartJake has signed on**_

**IHeartJake: Hi, Lyss!**

**Lyss224: Hi, Meggles! Guess who called me?**

**IHeartJake: Roger? ;)**

**Lyss224: No! Mya!**

**IHeartJake: **_**screams **_**Mya! How is she?**

**Lyss224: She's great! She says hi, by the way.**

_**CameraMan has signed on**_

**CameraMan: Hi, Alyssa.**

**Lyss224: Markie?**

**CameraMan: Yes, but don't call me that!**

**Lyss224: Why? Can only your camera or Mr.Scarfie call you that?**

**CameraMan: WTF?!**

**Lyss224: **_**snickers **_**ROTFLOL!**

**CameraMan: Excuse me while I kill Roger…**

**GuitarPlayer156: ioafi[ohjafjafihsha**

**Lyss224: …**

**GuitarPlayer156: Sorry, Mark took over the keyboard and was being mean!**

**Lyss224: LOL, does Roger need a hug?**

**GuitarPlayer156: Yes!**

**Lyss224: Cyber hug!**

**ILoveJake: So what's up with Roger?**

**Lyss224: Well last night we kinda got carried away and…**

**ILoveJake: OMG, did you two…Do It?**

**Lyss224: Yes…**

**ILoveJake: OH MY GOD!**

**Lyss224: Shh!**

**ILoveJake: Damn, girl! Well, g2g, Jake's coming over!**

**Lyss224: Aww, give him a hug and a kiss for me!**

**ILoveJake: Will do! Adios!**

_**ILoveJake signed off**_

**CameraMan: Well, now that I…**

_**Pookie'sGurl has signed on**_

**Pookie'sGurl: MARKIEKINS!**

**CameraMan: Gulp. Hi, Maureen…**

**Lyss224: Markiekins?**

**CameraMan: Don't ask. Well I'm going to go to the…erm…bathroom but I'll ttyl, Alyssa.**

**Lyss224: Bye, Mark!**

CameraMan: Bye.

**Lyss224: Wait!**

CameraMan: What?

**Lyss224: I happen to have a single friend who's looking for love…**

**CameraMan: I LOVE YOU!!**

**Lyss224: Sorry, Mark, but Roger's already claimed me. LOL!**

**CameraMan: Well…bye.**

_**CameraMan has signed off**_

**Pookie'sGurl: Ya know, when he says he's "going to the bathroom", he really means "I'm going to stare at my issues of Playboy magazine and masturbate"…**

**Lyss224: The guy seriously needs some lovin'…**

**Pookie'Gurl: Exactly!**

**GuitarPlayer224: Ugh, Mark's in the bathroom AGAIN! Oh, hey, Mo!**

**Pookie'sGurl: Hey Roger!**

_**LawyerJo has signed on**_

**Pookie'sGurl: Pookie!**

**LawyerJo: Hey, Honeybear. Hey, Roger. Hi, Alyssa.**

**Pookie'sGurl: Get off the laptop and come see me, Pookie!**

**LawyerJo: In 10 minutes, Maureen. Right after I finish this case file.**

**Pookie'sGurl: **_**pouts**_** But I want you!**

**LawyerJo: Maureen…**

**Pookie'sGurl: Plllllllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeeeee?**

**LawyerJo: Fine, but you have to do ME first. **

**Pookie'sGurl: Then get in the bedroom already!**

**LawyerJo: Meet you in a minute!**

_**Pookie'sGurl signed off**_

_**LawyerJo signed off**_

**Lyss224: ….**

**GuitarPlayer156: Yeah, they have sex almost every night.**

**Lyss224: Oh, LOL.**

**Lyss224: How's Collins?**

_**TheProfessorCollins signed on**_

**TheProfessorCollins: Hi, Alyssa. Hi, Roger.**

**Lyss224: Hi, Collins!**

**GuitarPlayer156: Hey**

**TheProfessorCollins: I'm fine, thanks, Alyssa.**

**Lyss224: That's good!**

**TheProfessorCollins: What'd I miss in here?**

**Lyss224: Well, Mark went to go look at Playboy mags, Maureen and Joanne went to have sex, and Meg was going to hang out with Jake.**

**TheProfessorCollins: Interesting…**

**GuitarPlayer156: Yep ******

**TheProfessorCollins: LOL. Well, I g2g, guys. I have to correct some more tests.**

**Lyss224: Bye!**

_**TheProfessorCollins signed off**_

**GuitarPlayer156: Well, I'm going to go, baby. I love you.**

**Lyss224: Love you too, Roger.**

**GuitarPlayer156: Sleep tight.**

**Lyss224: Thanks!**

_**GuitarPlayer156 signed off**_

_**WriterJake signed on**_

**Lyss224: Jake? I thought you were at Meg's?**

**WriterJake: He is at Meg's! He just got on his account through my AIM. Meg**

**Lyss224: Oh, LOL.**

**WriterJake: Yeah. What's up, Alyssa? Jake**

**Lyss224: Not much. How's the café doing?**

**WriterJake: Not bad. I wish I had more customers, though.**

**Lyss224: Maybe I can fix your problem…**

**WriterJake: COULD YOU?! I'd love you if you did that for me!**

**WriterJake: Hey, watch it! Meg**

**Lyss224: LOL, anything for a friend!**

**WriterJake: Thanks so much!**

**Lyss224: No problem! How's the novel coming along?**

**WriterJake: Not bad. I'm about halfway through. **

**Lyss224: Awesome!**

**WriterJake: Well, Meg and I are going to go now. ;)**

**Lyss224: ;) cool ttyl, guys!**

**WriterJake: Bye! Meg and Jake**

_**WriterJake signed off**_

_**Lyss224 signed off**_

Alyssa sighed, laughed to herself, and turned off her computer. She walked into her bedroom, and changed into her pajamas. She crawled into bed, smiling. She was lucky to have such great friends. What would the next day bring?

**Yeah, I know, a lot of IM in this chapter. I was IM'ing the real Mya and was inspired! It made me laugh, though. All screen names are fake, of course! I really hope you like this chapter. It's my longest yet! Yay! Let's celebrate! More cupcakes all around to my fabulous friends! And to my fans, too, of course! Now please, review this! Please? Please? Please? Thanks!**


	13. Goodbye

**A/N: Finally, finally, I am updating this. Thank you, thank you! (Bows to adoring fans) ATTENTION: Plot twist ahead!**

**A/N: I'm in the process of writing another story, but it'll be a while before I update too much, I have mid-term exams from the 14****th****-17****th**

**Disclaimer: I only own Alyssa, Meg, and Jake. I would love to own Roger, though! ;)**

**Dedication: To GorgeousSmile!**

Roger lay beside his girlfriend. It had been six months since they had gotten together. He now lived at her apartment. He was very much in love with her. He loved her almost as much as he had loved Mimi, if not slightly more. He was roused by the ringing phone. He leapt for it, as so not to wake up Alyssa. The urgent voice spoke.

"Roger?"

"Mark?" Roger answered sleepily. "What's up?"

"It's Collins."

Roger's stomach dropped. "What happened?"

"He collapsed. We're at the hospital."

"Is he ok?" Roger managed to get out.

"I don't know yet," Mark admitted. "No one does. Can you come down here?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Roger said, hanging up the phone. _How could this happen? First Angel, then Mimi, and now Collins?_

"Who was that?" Alyssa mumbled, still half-asleep.

"It was Mark. Collins collapsed. He's in the hospital." Roger began to cry softly.

Alyssa wrapped her arms around him, holding him. She held him, and he cried quietly. After a few minutes, he got up slowly.

"I'm going down to the hospital to be with Mark," he said, throwing on his coat and shoes.

Alyssa did the same. "I'm coming with you."

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They reached the hospital, and immediately ran into Mark, Maureen, and Joanne. Maureen was bawling, as Joanne was holding her protectively. Collins was Maureen's best friend, and she could not bear to see him go. The doctor came out, and took a deep breath.

"We're not sure how long he's going to last. The AIDS has completely taken over his body. He might die within a few hours. Would you like to say your last goodbyes now?"

The whole group dissolved into tears. Joanne finally spoke up.

"I'll go in first," she said between her tears. She walked into the room, and couldn't believe that this was Collins. He had machines and tubes sticking to and out of him.

"Collins?" 

"Jo?" he asked?

"Yes," she said. "Collins, I've known you for a while now, and well…you've become somewhat of a brother to me. I guess I'm trying to say, I love you like a brother. I hope you and Angel will be happy together, in Heaven."

"Thanks, Joanne. I love you like a sister. Take care of Maureen for me, ok?" he said shakily.

"Yes," she said. "Goodbye, Collins."

"Bye," he said.

Joanne made her way back out to the waiting room, and sank into a chair next to Maureen, crying softly. Alyssa rose, and walked into the room.

"Lyss?" Collins asked.

She walked over to the bed and hugged him gently. "I'm here, Collins. I haven't known you nearly as long as the others, but…I've enjoyed our time together. You're really funny and cool. I…hope you and Angel will be happy. She sounds like such a great soulmate for you. I…love you."

"I love you too, Alyssa. Take good care of Roger. Don't let him go all emo-musician on us again. You know, he really loves you…" he said, his voice trailing off.

Alyssa nodded, and laughed. "Well, I guess this is goodbye, Collins…"

"Goodbye, Alyssa," he said.

She walked back, straight into the arms of Roger. They looked at Mark, and he stepped away, into Collins's room.

"Hey, buddy, it's me," he said.

"Mark…I'm glad you brought me here," Collins said.

"I'd do anything for you guys, Collins. I can't believe it's been years since me, you, Maureen, and Benny were all roommates. I can't believe it's been awhile since Angel died. I can't believe this is goodbye…" he said, his voice breaking off into a small sob. "But, I do love you. I wish the best to you and Angel. And to Mimi, too. Tell them I said hi. Rest in peace, buddy."

Collins started crying. "Thanks, Mark. I wish you the best in finding a girl. Love you, too."

Mark nodded, and left the room, quickly. _How could this happen? Angel, Mimi, Collins? _

Roger was next to go.

"Collins…" he started. "I…I can't believe this is the end. First Angel died. Then, the love of my life, Mimi, left. Now, one of my best friends?" He, like the others, broke off. "But…I'm glad I have Alyssa. And I hope you have fun running around in Heaven with Mimi and Angel. Give my love to Mimi, would you? Tell her that I haven't forgotten her, and I never will. Love you, Collins."

"Aww, I love you too, Roger."

They said goodbye, and Maureen went into the room, shaking.

"Mo?" Collins asked?

"I'm here, baby," she said, through her tears. "Babe, I love you. It seems like yesterday we were roommates, and we first met. And then…so much happened. It hurt so bad to say goodbye to Angel, and then to Mimi. Now, I have to say goodbye to my best friend? I'm going to miss you SO much, Collins. I'll never forget you, ever. In fact, I'm going to dedicate all of my future performances to you. Give my love to Angel and Mimi. I love you, baby," she said, sobbing.

"I love you too, Maureen. You're like the sister I never had. I'll miss you like crazy, but I wish the best to you. Goodbye," he said, now sobbing, too.

"Bye," she managed to say. The rest of the boho's came in, and watched as Collins faded away. Suddenly, he cried out, "ANGEL!" they all rushed to his bedside, and saw the moment when his soul left his body. They all swore they could hear him laughing and singing with Angel, all the way up to Heaven.

**The tables have turned! The next chapter shall be Collins's funeral, and a special surprise! If anyone has any ideas for the next chapter, such as what they will say at the funeral, what should happen to Mark, etc, feel free to PM me and/or leave a review. Thanks, all! Now, begone, and reviewth me! (Sorry, we're reading Romeo and Juliet in English!)**


	14. Another Funeral and some Maureen Drama

**A/N: Hello. I know it's been awhile. I just made a personal revelation. I'd like to say that I've discovered that I'm bisexual. Thank you. (Oh, and I finally saw RENT live!!) **

**Disclaimer: I own Alyssa, Meg, and Jake ONLY!**

**Dedication: In memory of Jonathon Larson, and RENT. May he rest in peace knowing what a huge success his musical was. Also, dedicated to all the friends that are getting me through all this right now. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!**

Collins' funeral was the following week. The boho's dressed appropriately, all in black. Like at Angel and Mimi's funerals, they stepped forward one by one to speak. Benny was first.

"Uh…Collins? It's me, Benny. Look, I know I've been an asshole, but I remember when we were roommates. It was me, you, Mark, and Maureen. Remember Maureen's crazy antics? And you and I would sit there laughing. I remember when you met Angel. She was the strangest girl I've met, besides Maureen, but she was amazing to you. I will admit, you two did make a nice couple. I hope you're happy now, Collins. God bless, and let Mimi know I'm thinking of her." He stepped down, nearly holding back a tear.

Alyssa was next. "Collins, we didn't know each other for long. Still, in that time, I got to know you. I remember when we first met. You looked so sad, because you missed Angel so badly. Well…I hope you're happy with her now. I regret that I never got to meet her. She sounds like such a nice, loving person. Why do the good always have to die young? Why…never mind. Rest well, Collins."

Mark stepped up. "Hey, Collins. God, I never thought this day would be so soon. It crept up on us, like…well, like a virus. I remember when we first met, at the loft, when we first moved in. We quickly became best friends. Remember when Maureen took all her clothes off and gave me a lap dance? You just laughed and laughed. Look, I know how much you loved Angel. Tell her we said hi. Oh, and tell Mimi and April we say hi, too. I…love you, dude. You were like a brother to me, and you always will be." He stepped down, and gave Joanne a quick squeeze, also giving Maureen a sad smile and a peck on the cheek.

Joanne stepped up to the podium. "Gosh…this is so difficult. Collins, baby, we became so incredibly close, ever since we met. I remember that night. It was right after Maureen's protest, at the Life. You, I, Maureen, and Angel being the "gays" of the group shared a bond. You became like, a brother to me, to all of us. I can't imagine how you felt when Angel died. We were all devastated; it came so fast. Here one day, and gone the next day. When we heard the news that you were sick, I began praying that you wouldn't be next. Sadly, you were. God bless you, Collins. I love you always, hon. Give Angel and Mimi my regards. Oh, and tell them that Maureen and I are adopting, so there might be a new chica in the boho family!" There were only two boho's left. Roger was next. He squeezed Alyssa's hand, and made his way up.

"Collins…my GOD. WHY is this happening? Everyone I love and care for is being taken away from me so soon! First, April, the woman I first fell in love with, killed herself. Then Angel, the sweetest person I knew, was robbed from us. Then, my second love, Mimi, died the same way Angel and you did. Now, you're dead!" Roger started crying. "Rest in peace, Collins. Give Mimi and April kisses from me, and tell Angel I said 'hey'. Love you…" His voice trailed off, and tears started flowing freely down his face.

Maureen shakily made her way up to the podium, hugging Roger tightly as he stepped down. She took a deep breath, and sighed. It was plain to see that the drama queen hadn't gotten any sleep. Her eyes were red and bloodshot; her brown hair matted and dirty. She took another breath, and began to speak:

"Why me, God? Collins, you were my best friend in the whole world. We hit it off the minute we met, in high school. You were sitting alone, and these idiots were making fun of you, calling you 'queer' and 'fag'. I just walked up to them, and took care of them! We became friends after that. Then…we moved in with Mark and Benny, after high school. I met Maureen, and you met Angel. One by one, our friends started to…die. First, it was April. God, oh, God, I had never seen that much blood before. Then…Angel. Oh, Angel, baby. I remember how original she was. She loved you so, so much, Collins. I knew how hurt you were when she died. Not even a year later, it was Mimi. Mimi was the sweetest girl I ever met! Then, oh…then, you, baby, were taken from me. It was like losing a brother, a best friend, and it hurts so bad. I can't believe this family is dying so fast. There's only Jo, Benny, Mark, Roger, and I left of the original family. Now, though, we have Alyssa. Still, who next? Roger? Mark? Me? Still, rest in peace, baby. Give Angel a big smoochie for me, and tell everyone that we miss them terribly. I will always love you, Collins," she said, her voice breaking. Joanne swept her into her waiting arms, and held her tight through the tears. At the graveyard, all were crying as the casket was lowered into the ground. "I can't believe this is goodbye," Maureen whispered.

Roger led Alyssa aside, both crying softly.

"Alyssa," he said.

"Yes?" she asked, her focus on the rows of headstones.

Roger took a box out of his pocket, and then put it back. This wasn't the right time, or the right place for that.

"What is it?" Alyssa asked, turning to face him.

"Oh…nothing, it's nothing," he said quickly, putting his arm around her shoulders. Maureen came storming by.

"What is it, Mo?" Roger asked.

"My best friend is fucking DEAD, that's what's up!" she screamed. Joanne came up behind her.

"She's been in denial up until now. It only just caught up with her that he's gone," Joanne explained.

"He CAN'T be gone!" Maureen screamed. "He just CAN'T be!"

"Sweetie, he is. I hurts us, too," Alyssa said, trying to calm Maureen down.

"No, you don't UNDERSTAND! Your BEST FRIEND isn't fucking DEAD! Here one day, gone the next, all because of this…fucking VIRUS!"

Alyssa grimaced. "My husband died, and he was my best friend. I know what it's like, believe me," her voice cracking on "me".

Maureen's face fell. "I'm sorry. That doesn't change the fact that Collins is dead, though!" and stormed off towards the street. Joanne turned to Alyssa and Roger.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to talk to her later," she said apologetically.

"She just needs time," Alyssa said. "She'll come around."

Jo sighed. "I hope so. Well, I better go get her. Bye, guys."

"Bye," Alyssa and Roger said. They walked hand-in-hand back to Alyssa's place. They had a date that night. Little did she know what surprise Roger had for her…

**Ooh, I'm evil with these cliffhangers, aren't I? ****Wah hahahaha. Ha. Ha. ****Ok, I'm done evilly laughing now. PLEASE, read and review! It would mean a lot to me right now, what with all that I'm going through. I know, it was short, but I was stuck on the ending. I wanted some Maureen drama, and I wanted to end it on a better note, but then it kinda went blahhh. Ah, well. ARE you going to R&R? OHHH I love this song!! Sorry, I just downloaded the RENT OBC off iTunes last Monday, and I (almost) haven't stopped listening to it!**

**Chips anyone? LOL!**


	15. Possible Proposal and Confusing Thoughts

**A/N: I know it's been ages since I updated, but well…kinda had writer's block and I never got around to updating between: school, broken hearts, friends, and other…stuff. Went through some hard things. BUT, here is an update at long, long last!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT or Legally Blonde the Musical (there is a reference to that in here. If you get it right, brownies to you!). **

**Dedication: This one goes out to Twisties (Yay!)**

Alyssa stumbled into her apartment late that night after Collins' funeral. She found Meg waiting for her, expecting updates on Roger. She saw that her friend had been crying, and immediately stood up to wrap her in a hug.

"It's ok," she whispered, gently rubbing her friend's back. "It'll all be ok."

Alyssa sniffled. "Thanks, Meg." They sat on the couch, and relaxed.

"So?" Meg asked. "What's going on with Roger?"

Alyssa smiled. "Every time he looks at me, it's totally proposal eyes!"

"Omigod!" Meg exclaimed. "Looks like you've won the prize!"

"I know! I hope I'm right, though. I mean…I don't want to assume…or look like I expect it or anything…"

"Lyss, he totally loves you. I can see it in his eyes when he talks to you. You have no need to worry!"

"I'm sure you're right…" Alyssa sighed. "Look, I'm tired so…"

"Say no more," Meg said, kissing her friend on the cheek, and leaving.

Alyssa crawled into bed, and took out her journal. She wrote:

_Dear Diary,_

_Collins died the other day. I've never seen Roger and Mark so heartbroken, not to mention Maureen. She looked like a wreck. Poor dear, her best friend just died. I know how that feels. Oh, boy, do I know how that feels. I'm sad, although I didn't know him that well. I guess I felt a kind of…connection, you know? On other news, it's been so incredibly amazing with Roger lately. Diary, I think he's going to propose to me sometime soon! Meg thinks so, too. Oh gosh, I hope she's right! I think my heart's nearly mended from the hole Toby left when he passed. Perhaps we can start a family together, Roger and I. I would absolutely love that. Have I finally found love? My heart thinks it has. I can only hope nothing else happens. I don't know how we'll all take it. Another family member can't die, not now. I will go now, diary, but I'll be back. Goodnight._

She turned off the light, and sank into a deep slumber almost instantly.

RENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENT

Roger opened the little box, and closed it. He opened it again, and closed it again. After doing this several times, Mark finally spoke up.

"Come on, man, it's not going anywhere!"

"Except on Alyssa's finger…I hope…" Roger responded.

"Of course it will! I know she loves you. I can see it in her eyes. Hey, let me see the ring again," Mark said.

Roger handed him the box carefully. It contained a beautiful ring, with a single, small diamond in a heart shape. It was very nice, considering it was all he could afford. Mark sighed in approval, and tossed the box carefully back to Roger.

"Night, man," he said, before snuggling up with Mr. Scarfie in his room.

Roger chuckled. "Poor boy needs to get a life." He picked up his guitar, and began to play. He had been practicing the song he wrote for Alyssa. He'd play it when he proposed to her.

_Your eyes_

_As we said our greetings_

_Can't get them out of my mind_

_And I find I can't hide_

_From your eyes_

_The day you came into my life_

_Where there's daylight_

_I see your eyes_

_I'm longing so to hold you_

_So there's something I should tell you_

_Yeah, there's something I should tell you_

_When I look into your eyes_

_I see Heaven_

_And I swear I can fly_

_When I see your eyes_

_So I should tell you_

_I should tell you_

_I love you, I love you always_

_You can see it in my eyes_

_Alyssa_

After making sure it was near-perfect, he let himself go to bed, tired, but happy.

RENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENTRENT

The next day, Alyssa went out dress shopping with Meg. After browsing through many, many stores, they finally made a selection. It was a knock-out, beautiful Spanish-style dress. It was black, and off-the shoulder. There was a fake rose pinned on. The end was diagonally cut, and had red trim. They paired it up with black ankle-strap high heels, and Meg styled Alyssa's hair into a fancy twist, pinning a real rose in. After makeup was applied, Alyssa put on some perfume, and tried to stay calm. She couldn't help but to shake, though.

Meg laughed. "Calm down, sweetie! Your makeup's going to run, not to mention you'll give yourself a heart attack!" she joked.

"I'm sorry!" Alyssa cried. "I just can't help it!"

Meg looked her friend in the eyes. "Don't worry about a thing," she reassured Alyssa. Alyssa ran into her friend's open arms. Meg gently comforted her, and looked at her again. _Wow, she looks beautiful. And so sexy. Wait, what am I thinking? She's my best friend! She's practically my sister! I can't think of her that way! I mean…I'm in love with Jake…right? I gotta shake this off…I don't need confusion with my sexuality on top of all this. I need to be here for her. Maybe I'll talk to her about this later…_

"Now, go get him!" Meg said. Alyssa smiled, and kissed Meg quickly on the lips. "Thanks, Meg!" she called over her shoulder as she left the apartment, leaving Meg stunned. _Wait…did she just kiss me? Oh wow, that felt amazing. I think I'm…no! I can't be falling for her! I'm not…I'm not…oh God…_

Alyssa knocked on the door to the loft. Roger let her in, and kissed her passionately…

_To be continued!!_

**Muah ha ha ha I love these cliffhangers!! So, is Meg falling for Alyssa? How does the proposal go? Will Mark ever find a girlfriend? Tune in later to find out!! By the way, a lot of Meg's thoughts are true, and most of it happened between me and the REAL Alyssa…and I mean it's REALLY true. I will gladly talk about it over PM with anyone curious. Teehee, now go review!! (Anyone catch the LBTM references? And yes, I did alter Your Eyes to fit the situation.)**


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